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blackynsupremacy · 2 days ago

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GRILLZ!

pairing: nicholas a. chavez x black!fem!reader

summary: nicholas gots some serious drip and you love it for him.

contains: fluff, cute couple stuff, 18+ content mdni, swearing, mention of smut, biting, oral (f/m receiving), unprotected p in v, hitting it from the side, reverse cowgirl, missionary, aftercare, intimacy.

a/n: heyyy! i hope ya’ll enjoy this one. kisses to you all! - des. 🪷

want more? check out my masterlist.

taglist: @greengoblinswifey @hopefully-saturn @jkr820 @hoffmansgirl @austeenbootler @niteskysx @sabrinasopposite @thabiddie23 @hnch33rios @xoxoglittergossip @supaprettyg @motherismotheringggg @oscarisaackissmykitty @simply-lovley44 @elitesanjisimp @gxuxhdjdu @v3n1ce-bxtch @iamsebastiansstan @stargirl-mayaa @miguelspvssy @oliviaambs

• okay, so boom.

• we all know what community really put grillz on the map in american culture and others became inspired decades after.

• those others included you and your man, nicholas.

• one thing you loved about him was his smile.

• you don’t know how he achieved such perfect pearly whites, but every time he puts them on display, you just fall harder for him.

• you see why his fans simp for him the way they do. he’s hot when he’s brooding, but when he smiles it just hits different.

• you could just stare in complete awe when he bursts out in genuine laughter or he’d just throw you a smile your way because let’s face it.

• he adores you, he kisses the ground you walk on.

• he thinks your smile is contagious. he could be pissed off and if you give him a simper of reassurance, that frown is turned upside down.

• you’re always wearing fashion trends that related to your culture.

• that includes clothes, makeup, shoes, hair styles, and jewelry.

• you wanted to try something new that could add to your look.

• some grillz.

• the photos on pinterest had you instantly inspired.

• when you flashed your silvery new dental accessory, nicholas was captivated.

• “fuck, can you get any hotter? you look amazing!” he was hyping you real good.

• he loves it when it matches with your outfits and other jewelry.

• and if you pair those grillz with that brown liner and clear gloss combo? he’s about to fold you like clothes.

• “y’know who else would look amazing with these? you would! you got the best teeth for it, nick.” you suggest, urging him to give this a try.

• at first he was unsure about it because he wasn’t certain of the ending result.

• “babe, are you sure? you’d think i’d look good with ‘em?” he’d inquire with a raised brow.

• “no, you wouldn’t look good. you’d look fine as hell! nick, you know that i got you. we’re gonna make sure we find what’s best for you.” you reassured again with a kiss to his cheek.

• nicholas was onboard!

• you contacted the jeweler that provided your grillz and set up an appointment for the following day.

• you and nicholas took your time for him to design “the one” that best fit his style.

• from the embellishments to the color, he wanted your feedback on everything, but what mattered to you was that he was happy because you’re still gonna fuck with it anyway.

• a few days after his grillz were created, you returned back to your jeweler, so that could be be fitted properly.

• he turned to you, flashing his teeth to reveal his new accessory.

• “so—how do i do look?” he’d ask, hoping that this long process had paid off. he really liked it the more he examined the grillz on his left canine.

• at the first glance of the shimmering jewel, you were sure you were going to faint.

• nicholas looked so damn good.

• you were speechless.

• you couldn’t help, but to take your phone out because you needed this moment to last longer the more you gawked.

• “smile big f’me, baby. c’monnn!” you urged him, batting your lashes and caressing his chiseled chin to which he bashfully grins. the apple of his cheeks were cherry red at your affection.

• you gotta get more storage in your phone for the amount of selfies and videos you took of you and nicholas sporting your grillz.

• nicholas is super responsible with them, you even gifted him with a monogrammed with his initials.

• he keeps them clean and pristine. he ain’t playing.

• if you happen to forget yours, he’s got you.

• there was just this new air of confidence that he had and it turned you on.

• and honey, if you were clingy to him before.

• you’re definitely stuck on him now and he’s eating it allll the way up.

• if you guys are laying on the couch and you’re just chilling on top of him, you could just be rambling and then—

• he peers at you with those sultry, brown eyes and flash that irresistible smile. you’d just stop and get so hypnotized.

• nicholas’ eye contact is just as lethal as his smile.

• “shit��what was i saying?” you’d inquire, feeling embarrassed that he had you so easily flustered.

• he’d chuckle causing you to absolutely fold.

• speaking of folding.

• he uses those grillz when it’s time to get down in the bedroom.

• he’s a lover, an eater, and now he’s a biter.

• best believe when it comes to your chest, he’ll pay extra attention to your nipples as he bites on them with his flashy canine.

• the sensation of the metal mixed with the suckling of tongue made the erected points of your nipple harder than before.

• he litters love bites all over you, nibbling everywhere he could reach.

• you love to see the glimmer of his grill when he uses his teeth to pull your panties down.

• nicholas lives for how the goosebumps on your skin of your inner thigh rises as he glides the metal to the path of your awaiting core.

• when using his mouth to pleasure you, he pays extra attention to your clit.

• he has different techniques for it. rubbing, sucking, and swirling his tongue around it in order for you to finish on his face.

• girl, pull on his hair a little harder because when he puts that bud in between his teeth where the grill is to nibble on it a bit, you will be absolutely spent as you ooze out all over his face.

• nicholas drank every single drop like water.

• that was his best head yet.

• when you’re go down on him, you get butterflies in your stomach as you gaze up at him through your lashes to see him grinning in satisfaction and caressing his fingers through your scalp. his grill on his display as he praises you for taking him so well into your mouth.

• “ah, look at you. fuck, if you keep looking at me like that m’gonna cum, angel.”

• and so he does, but he’s not done until he fully has his way with you.

• nicholas has an impressive stamina, he could go at it in many positions with you.

• during missionary, he’ll bury his face into the crevice between your neck and shoulder, sinking his teeth deep into the skin causing you to cry out as he repeatedly drills into the soft spot of your pussy.

• if he’s hitting it from the side, he’ll have one hand on your leg to raise it an angle as his jeweled teeth glide and bite along your jawline and earlobe, whispering the raunchiest of praises into your ear.

• bite marks from the gems are guaranteed to be all over your shoulders if you’re in reverse cowgirl, your back is up against his broad chest as you bounce yourself up and down against his length, his nails dig into the plush skin of your hips while his jolts in the direction of your clenching walls.

• when you two finish, he’s checking in to make sure you’re okay afterwards.

• “fuck, did i bite too hard? m’sorry, babe.” he’s such a sweetheart!

• you were honest that you were a bit sore, but you reassured nicholas that you loved it nonetheless!

• what’s pleasure without a little pain?

• nicholas is quite gentle during aftercare.

• he’ll run you both a bath, give you an oil massage, and foot rub before you’re both cuddling in bed.

• “just one more thing before you put em’ back in the case, boo. smile f’me one more time, pleaaaase?” you plea, rolling yourself on top of him before leaning closer to his face as your hands rested on his jaw.

• at the sight of your face and the sound of your voice, how could he not?

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supahstarrr · 2 days ago

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Thoughts on Watari Nishino's student spotlight

Warning: there will be discussions of misogyny here & mentions of abuse.

i am so satisfied that Watari Nishino has finally got her student interview. it's so satisfying that her character is allowed to be shown outside of being in The Supportive role or Comedic relief. i also have an opportunity to share some of my thoughts that i left out of my previous ramble post about her, and to reaffirm some of my thoughts I've expressed already!

i will try to organize my thoughts, you know like how those really good tumblr fanganronpa analyzers do? organize with titles, screenshots and all that? this post will still be sloppy though... i'm not fancy with words. And this is (mostly) not an analysis post... I am just very passionate about Watari.

before all, i want to touch on the vocal performance of the VA. the amounts of energy and character that was oozed out... I was stunned!!! and the voice becoming low and breaking at some points was so heartbreaking to hear; the performance expressed her "strength" that was constantly on the verge of breaking down during this interview. the voice having edge to it at some points—the underlying resentment and longing was so overbearing.

Watari's opinion on marriage

Honestly, there's so much stuff going on. I could screenshot everything about what the hell she was yapping about but that's a lot of work.

one of the first thoughts about marriage is how she wants to be the wife of Hayashi, to serve her and care for her! its funny and sweet. but then she remembers about the social dynamics she has put up with all her life, how she has always been a victim of them and witness of them... yikes. its fucked up she she likes the idea to serve people she care or love about as a way to express love, but to some extent, it's a reminder of common dynamics in marriage between men and women that are "expected" as they are an extension of oppressive social dynamics.

it's pretty sad how her perception of marriage and being a wife is so tainted by the previously prominent one in her life. like it is the common occurrence for patriarchal roles to be ingrained in marriages, and it's likely her parent's marriage reflected that toxic normalcy. there is so much disdain and resentment through comments on the "role" as a husband and "role" as a wife as a trauma response.

particularly, she largely associates being a wife with physically and mentally serving the husband and in the process to carry more burden, while the husband is allowed to be more independent outside of serving for someone and be acknowledged as human as he is more allowed to express his emotion (ex: through complaints). despite the disdain about the oppressive position the general husband holds over his wife, she finds some comfort in the role as the husband is allowed to express his humanity and have some independence. this is disdain is personal; its not only just rooted from her oppression in society as a girl, but also the marriage she witnessed.

I think there could also be the possibility that she sees herself as a "Wife". Not even just because of the expectations tied to her gender, but because of the current she has in the family, as the "wife" who must serve the family. Although there is some differences between the wife and her role in the family, the sentiment is that she is expected to serve at the expense of her humanity. Which adds more layers to the commentary on the marriage and her tendencies to put herself in leader positions where she's able to have fun with it (despite doing that having some complications).

Also very specifically this line gave me a mental pause.

What the hell? Suspicious... as i interpret there being an underlying personal tone (not just regarding to her position in society as a girl, but also towards the previous marriage) to the way she speaks about husbands, this... makes me very concerned! concerned! the nature of her previous parent's marriage has always gave me curiosity and concern. and this points to it being more personal as monomoko says it feels they have "strayed away" from the intentions of the question. yeah this is definitely personal.

i've always wondered whether or not the marriage was mutually toxic or abusive. and if there was abuse, i wonder about the extent of the abuse the children faced and/or if they were mostly stuck as the role of the witness of a parent's abuse. i've wondered if they were emotionally neglected while being a witness to physical, verbal and/or other kinds of abuse. now this gives me more questions. was alcoholism involved??? her father was an alcoholic possibly... and i wonder how it affected everyone in the family. good grief so much layers to this!!

and what gets me is that she does reach out to her father sometimes... despite all...? having mommy and daddy issues at once is dangerous.

to give a wonderful, but relatable, end to the topic of marriage... she says this.

this was yet another interesting thing she said regarding to marriage considering her lack of genuine attraction to men. though this is a funny remark she says loosely, this really gives more layers to the way she treats her "attraction" towards men. it's very interesting that particularly speaks about her "attraction" in this context of speaking about marriage and the common roles in them which stem from misogyny, while in earlier videos where she expresses this "attraction" is typically in the context of men serving for her. she plays with a "romantic attraction" about men as a way to reclaim the oppressive position men and oppressive societal expectations which hold over her.

through this play she plays with expectations attached to her gender—the expectation that girls & women must be romantically attracted to men and it must lead to the "inherent" desire to serve them, and that women must be committed and follow "rules" regarding to their attraction. since this immediate perception of how "all girls and women" experience, express or act on their expression has roots in misogyny. when she plays with a "romantic attraction" or "romantic interest" towards men, she gets to decide how and when she wants to be served or be leader whenever she wants to without commitment to those "feelings" that she cannot genuinely feel.

this disillusion with society's expectations and "rules" regarding to girls' and women's romantic interests encourages her to be very loud when expressing her genuine romantic and sexual attraction towards hayashi—though at the expense of hayashi's thoughts on that—as this expression actively breaks the expectation that she must express her desires quietly and how her attraction towards women is supposedly "false" or "less serious". thus, she gets to have a sense of control on those expectations forced onto her.

Watari's family

there was a thought i had about her role in the family, which i left out of my previous post about her as i didn't know where to put it. thanks to the interview, i have an opportunity to share this. i had the thought that her "leadership" role in the family was influenced by misogynistic standards in society. pushing girls into the adult caretaker role plus the lack of concern towards the emotional weight girls & women get from being forced into those positions are expressions of misogyny, which led me to that idea.

this idea i've had has definitely been hinted now shown by how she says her mother never had expectations for her older brother yet had them for her despite previously being the youngest in the family. which is likely the case due to misogyny her mother has internalized. not to be "overzealous" about the this misogyny talk, but there's a chance her brother holds these misogynistic beliefs as well.

and the way that watari is so particularly attentive to raising her sister because she knows that her sister will be pushed to become the next "sibling mom" due to this misogyny being ingrained in the family (not just shown by why she has the "leadership" role but also [likely] the previous marriage) despite the older brother still being around... just gave me a heartache. the kinship between the sisters due to their girlhood... ughhh my god its so bittersweet. there's an extra layer to this i feel. her feeling so obliged to break the cycle through parenting her sister is so reminiscent of how she broke the marriage. back then she tried to break the cycle of the pain that was so ingrained in the marriage; and she did! and now she feels obliged to break another cycle.

The curious case of Watari's mother

Later on in the interview, Watari comments about having a lot of siblings. She has get grievances about this as she knows she will have to step up to take care of them. This comment and grief reminds me of this earlier comment she made:

I wonder if this commentary on being a wife also refers to her mother—I mean this bit on what "it means" to be a husband and wife is very personal for her enough, especially when it comes how she speaks about The Husband role.

There are questions about my idea which is just a very loose theory. I'm unsure about the timeline stuff. But two or three children can already be close to "too much" depending on the culture, then expecting yet another third or fourth child can be considered definitely "too much". so regardless of how many children existed during the marriage and divorce, this could still refer to her mother when she was a wife.

If this is talking about her mother, this gives some interesting context to her. Although she most definitely do not "clean stuff all day" in present times as told about her constant neglectful character, perhaps she did back then. And so when she's divorced... she just.... don't clean anymore? I wonder if her mother is depressed and/or have negative feelings about parenthood as a result of the divorce, which could motivate her to be neglectful in various of ways. and these feelings doesnt have to just be a result of the divorce—they could already be lingering during the marriage, but increased because there's suddenly "no reason" to disregard them for the sake of holding a marriage that isn't there anymore.

this interests me as in Watari's text file, she attempts to reassure her siblings that her mother still loves the family. i would say its not not even just for the sake of comforting her siblings but also for the sake of her comfort, especially as Watari do genuinely hold some love towards her mother. I feel there's a possibility that her mother has shown genuine care and investment to the family before (like through cleaning as that act can be revealing of some care), at least during the marriage, and so she believes her mother has the potential to still be loving and caring to the family.

additional thoughts

the disillusion with societal standards and expectations towards women & girls as they're an extension of systematic misogyny is so heavily tied to watari's character that it hurts! hurts in the "i understand" way as a girl (kind of) myself. her character is so important. her character hits home as unfortunately in black communities, adultification of black girls is an unfortunate common occurrence. though unsure if the creator took consideration of this, or of misogynoir in general, in watari's story & character.

this really ties nicely to the topic of reclamation being connected to her character, which I've now realized is apart of her character even more than I thought. this interview was *really* great to me. It introduced more questions, introduced more ideas to her character, and more context. This interview felt longer than some other student interviews, which is delicious to me as someone who desperately wishes for more Watari-focused content.

This interview support my claims about her taking on "leadership" role as headmaster as a way to reclaim the leadership roles she has in her life, particularly her role in her family. its fucked that the one time she gets to have fun with being a leader... it's soured. it's fucked that the cases she's tried to be selfish by tending to her comfort and fun, some shit happens. its fucked.

"i don't want to be sad all the time"... "i just want to be a normal child for once!" and many more lines are just so revealing of her constant state of grief. Her longing. Resentment. She is so tragic to me. Sigh. I hope that soon, she will be comforted and the one who is reached out to. I hope her grief will be acknowledged by others more.

This was a lot of typing and editing, and im sure ill have to edit later. Maybe i could expand on some things, but i wanted this to specifically be about Watari Nishino, her character, and her background. Not just her character relating to other characters. Byebye :) this took hours and I need to sleep. i hope things were worded nicely and tastefully. i also tried not to be repetitive.

#tetro danganronpa pink spoilers #spoilers #watari nishino #mention of abuse #tetro danganronpa pink

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demigodsanswer · 2 days ago

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I love your ideas on the TUAP proposal/wedding! Do you have any headcanons about how book percabeth gets engaged/marriage other than that Percy proposes?

I do have a few ideas! I don't generally have a stable future headcanon for them; I write whatever feels right for a given fic. But I do generally have them wait until after college to get engaged and married, they have a small ceremony, and then they have kids starting around age 27.

It doesn't take long after college for them to get engaged. They've been talking about getting married since they were 17, so it's not really a matter of if just when. Percy knows Annabeth wants to be proposed to, because she wants to be chosen. She's always had to find, make, hold onto, and let go of family though the years. So Percy knows it's really important to her that he choose her this time (he chooses her every time, of course).

The proposal itself doesn't look very grand -- there isn't a room full of candles or anything crazy elaborate. But it is deeply thoughtful. Percy picks a place that means a lot to Annabeth, and he rehearses exactly all the things he wants to say to her. I think the proposal would either be a) on top of a building she designed (although this would probably not make sense, unless they were getting engaged on Olympus, given how young they'd be) b) at The Plaza, because this is where he shared his one vulnerable spot with her (but I don't really like this one because of the trauma. Like this is also the spot where she almost died). c) (my personal favorite) during the holidays with their family and friends. I picture it in the Jackson apartment, all warm and lit up for Christmas/Saturnalia/Yule with friends and family. I like this one the most because it is Percy not just saying "I want us to be family" but also offering her, promising her all of this warmth and love forever.

Percy does feel like he kind of botched the engagement. Not by doing it poorly or anything, it's just that, once he starts trying to give his rehearsed speech he starts crying, which he's really thrown off by, because he never cries. It throws him completely off, and he forgets everything he was going to say. Annabeth is deeply touched (and also crying, but that's normal for her), so she just says yes and adds "you can tell me the speech later." From her pov, the engagement was perfect, and Percy did everything right. It's one of her favorite memories forever. And that's it! They're engaged!

They have a small, intimate wedding, but it is nice. Annabeth does get a dress and the flowers, and they have a party. It's lots of fun. I feel like they either have a really short engagement and plan something in like 6 months. Or they have a long engagement and it takes them like two years to actually put everything together, because their early 20s are so busy with career stuff they just don't have time.

Annabeth does the bulk of the planning, but Percy plans the food. Sally of course helps Annabeth with all the mom things, like picking out the dress. I feel like Annabeth didn't think she'd get something that frilly or girly, like she thought she'd get something sleek, maybe even a jumpsuit. But she ends up falling in love with something very, very girly, and also maybe blue.

#percabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackson

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psink · 2 months ago

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Whilst overall I prefer the manga to the anime, there's one aspect that I think the anime does better - the very ending.

Compared to the manga's very compactly shown thoughts of the cast, the anime gives each of them a short scene.

But although that change already is great, what matters to me the most, is this added scene of Saiko.

Despite it being so short, it feels so fitting and important to Saiko's character, making its absence in the original seem wrong. (They also added Rifuta, though comparatively, her scene isn't so significant.)

#saiki kusuo #saiko meteori #rifuta imu #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k #i'm sure people must've said this before but i always think about this when reading through 281 #although i prefer the anime's version i also think the original has its merits #i feel like putting (almost) all of the words/thoughts in one panel puts more focus on kusuo's feelings #and it also nicely shows how recognizable the characters are just by how they talk #but i think showing the characters one last time before the end works better as a send-off #(plus it works better visually for the anime)#and i'm glad the anime remembered about imu and saiko #this scene works well as a 'conclusion/ending' of sorts for saiko (though naturally it'd be better if there was more)#it'd feel more incomplete without it #the anime also added small bits of dialogue here such as toritsuka thinking “ i know you can't hear me” which is also a nice touch #i really like the epilogue and i find the anime's adaptation of it the best part of the anime #the anime rarely adds things; it mostly removes stuff #there are few added scenes in earlier seasons but it's really not as noticeable as the things they cut/shortened #but because the epilogue has a whole episode to itself - the pacing is much better allowing them to add additional stuff #on top of already adapting the manga well #ended up going on a small ramble by accident

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sskk-manifesto · 7 months ago

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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs #It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated #I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg #but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka #and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb #Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin #and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up #random rambles

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horsemeatluvr23 · 9 months ago

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zedaph!!! coloured pencil n fineliner :D ngl i rly struggled w getting a photo of this one .. i ended up scanning it but i think it washed out a lot of the pencil detail n ended up looking like i deep fried it lmao. u will all just have to trust me when i say this looks better irl

#i rly enjoyed the process of this drawing but i don't love the final version... but i had fun so who cares!!#i rly wanna get better at doing coloured pencil stuff i find it so hard for some reason .. i think the colour theory side of it trips me up #trying to learn media that relies on your knowledge of colour theory is a Struggle as a colourblind artist lmaooo #anyways i love zedaph's videos so much he is utterly insane and i am obsessed. watching him break the boundaries of the game is so fun #his videos r just so enjoyable he is so easy to watch n he comes up with the most deranged ideas yet somehow always makes it work #i love how he gameifies everything it just adds another layer of challenge (and therefore satisfaction) to the game #his mind is truly. so unique... that sounds like an insult but i swear it isn't #i want to study him in a lab #he would probably study me back #horsemeat gallery #zedaph #zedaph fanart #zedaphplays #hermitcraft #horsemeatluvr does hermitaday #hermitaday

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gardensanddumbasses · 3 days ago

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OKAY!!! Took me a bit to go through my bookmarks but here we go. Danny Phantom is honestly a Batfam gateway drug so I had to filter it out, but I managed to keep the rec list to just DP. Some of these might not be multichapter exactly, but they're all greater than 10k words. Obviously I haven't read through the entire DP tag top to bottom but these are my personal stand out favorites.

Echoes by PhantomTwitch was one of the first DP fics I ended up reading. 150k and 30 chapters it's a nice decently long read. No shipping but we've got a lot of close friendships and Danny's parents trying to be good parents once that do find out. Starts as a nobody knows au with so much tasty angst.

Ghosting Along by TourettesDog is a super good one but it's kind of open ending and angst heavy. Danny, upon having his portal accident, never realizes he's a halfa so he lives all of his time as a ghost. 21k words and 7 chapters. Again, no shipping, but lots of friendship angst.

An Early Start by SpectacledRenegade is certainly a unique fic with Danny's portal accident happening much earlier in his life at four years old and stranding him in the ghost zone. 66k words and 25 chapters, this one is not the kindest to Jack and Maddie. Again, no shipping but a lot of good friend trio stuff. Jazz is absolutely based in this one and it adds in some Vlad Masters redemption while making it feel remarkably natural and make sense for the context.

Cracked Clay Cup by Marsalia is another rather Jack and Maddie unfriendly fic. At 30k words and 18 chapters the entire premise of this fic is a custody battle over Danny. Absolutely everyone is trying to adopt him and Danny is not particularly vibing with it but he'll cope. If you pay attention you can probably see the direction things are going pretty easily and who ultimately ends up with custody of Danny.

kintsugi by mystyrust is the exact emotional opposite to Cracked Clay Cup. while the former focuses on how broken the relationship between Danny and his parents is, this one entirely pays attention to the repair of said relationship and the growth of his parents in an attempt to better understand Danny. 24k words and 8 chapters, I found this one to be super satisfying but also I'm a sucker for Jack and Maddie getting a chance to repair their relationship with Danny.

Epiphany by TorScrawls is part of a series called Of Portals and Phantoms the likes of which is fully complete so you'll be able to read the whole series. What I like about this one is that the title really says it all. Maddie and Jack realize that what they know about ghosts is wrong, and instead of pushing through, decide instead to revisit the science behind their beliefs and rethink those beliefs when the science is wrong. The first series entry is 51k and 11 chapters, but the series as a whole sits at 127k words and I really like the final fic in the series.

Birds of a feather by DP_Marvel94 is a guilty pleasure of mine because I've always loved winged characters and by extension wing fics. At 12k words and 2 chapters it's one of the shorter fics I've recommended but it's such a delight for me personally. Heavy focus on the friendship trio and Danny himself.

Prove That You Deserve the Answer by DarthFrodo is one I've reread a couple times. Body swaps are usually super hard for me to read because more often than not I get second hand embarrassment and just can't finish the story, but this one is an exception. At 24k words and 4 chapters we have Maddie getting into an argument with her kids and after saying a wish out loud (terrible choice in Amity really) she and Jazz end up swapping bodies. Reveals happen and I just adore the family dynamics in this one.

broken trust and the wounds hidden behind by UnderForeversGrace is a Jack centric fic in a nobody knows au that starts off by Jack finding a flash drive Danny left behind in case he doesn't come home. The fic itself then focuses in on Jack trying to regain Danny and Phantom's trust. It's 27k words and 7 chapters, but it's worth noting that it's part of a series called Trust and Wounds. The series is sadly still incomplete so we've gotta bribe the author with comments but the first entry in the series is my favorite anyway and could be read as a standalone if you so choose.

Dinner and Diatribes by The_Lord_of_Chaos is a fic entirely focused on the relationship between Danny and Maddie, or more specifically, Danny in the shape of Phantom. The pair wake up in a mansion belonging to Plasmius who is determined to play house. I adore this one because of the way in which Maddie and Danny's relationship develops! The first bit is kind of hard to get through if you aren't an angst fan since Maddie is, well, Maddie and has bad information about ghosts, but she gets past that and when the two start working together it's chef's kiss. It's only one chapter but 37k words so I'd still recommend giving it a shot!

And It All Went to Hell by Armed_With_Knitting_Needles is a reveal fic that goes iffy. It's part of a series but I personally prefer reading it as a stand alone given the series is unfinished. At 61k words and 14 chapters, we've got Lancer stuck in the middle of a Situation trying to mitigate the fact that Danny's parents are trying to "fix" him and Vlad is Plotting in the background. As he does. You're gonna want to hit the fruit loop with a broom by the end, mark my words. I won't spoil the ending, but I do promise that it's a happy one!

Internal Maintenance by Jelly1123 is a restricted fic so you'll need an account to read it, but I think it's worth it for those of you without accounts (but I personally think ao3 in general is worth it soooo). At 31k words and 14 chapters it focuses on Maddie ending up with a similar portal accident to Danny and becoming a halfa. This of course snowballs into a reveal, despite how much Maddie and Jack try to hide her new halfa status from the kids so as not to worry them.

A Gift of a Heart by Alexa_Piper is another halfa Maddie fic but with a lot more angst than Internal Maintenance. At 54k words and 19 chapters it starts with Maddie post getting shot in the heart at a robbery. Danny panics, gives his mom a new heart, and yoinks her to the ghost zone while she's healing. It's got some wonderful angst on Maddie's part and a satisfying ending!

The 'New' Research by Yapuwfou is an interesting reveal fic, since when the reveal happens Danny comes at his parents with actual research. At 31k words and 5 chapters it is very heavy on the lore and world building, so if you're a fan of that it's a wonderful read. Like there's so much ghost biology lore dropping without making said lore drop boring which in and of itself is a skill imo.

Blob Ghost Supreme by DragonsDomain is anothe restricted fic and for the most part it's crack. Crack treated seriously, but still crackish. Danny became a blob ghost after his accident and decides to win the tournament to become the ghost king so he'll stop getting teased for being a blob ghost. It's a no one knows au so we also get a reveal for Sam and Tucker while they're watching the tournament. I can't say that I expecting the reveal at the end, but I think it fit well to the plot. Mostly this fic is just 11k words and 4 chapters of an overpowered blob beating the every other powerful ghost's ass like a pair of bongos.

Afterlife Lessons by Fangirlwriting is a super good one if you're a fan the platonic friend trio. A know one knows au where keeping things secret is driving Danny insane, so Vlad decides to fix it in the most Vlad way possible. Which means turning Sam and Tucker into halfas. They of course go to the friendliest town ghost for lessons on how to be ghosts, Phantom. at 31k words and 15 chapters it's a super good one if you're a fan of friendship fluff and identity shenanigans.

Conduit by MaskedEmerald is a unique take on the Ghost Portal Danny AU. At 18k words and 15 chapters it focuses on the GIW fucking up and Valerie trying to rectify said fuck up. I personally really like the way the AU in question is presented within the plot of the fic, as well as the nature of the ending. We love some good ride or die friends and family.

Friends in Strange Places by Sunnys567 is a Bitter Reunions retelling that can be summed up as "Vlad Went To Therapy". It's actually a super long and satisfying read for starting as a retelling, clock 100k words and 11 chapters. This one really focuses on the concept of keeping the whole halfa thing a secret, alongside the pains and relationship strains that go with it.

Double Discovery by DP_Marvel94 is a 32k word or 10 chapter fics that focuses on Danny and Maddie after Danny and Phantom end up accidentally getting separated a la Fenton Ghost Catcher. Jazz and Jack aren't home so it's just focused on the two, with Danny trying to convince his mom that Phantom isn't bad. She eventually gets to the correct conclusion and we've got a happy ending, but boy, is it a ride getting there. My favorite part about this fic is the banter between Danny and Phantom.

Wake Me Up To Say Goodbye by ZombieRed (Zombie Lieutenant) is one of the more unique reveal fics I've read. Focused entirely on Danny and Jack, it's 23k words and 7 chapters of Jack fully misunderstanding what Danny's situation is but trying to be a good dad anyway. There's a lot of good angst and a satisfyingly happy ending. Plus the art goes incredibly fucking hard.

That is pretty much my creme de la creme of the recommendations. I didn't know if you wanted ships besides Danny/Sam so I tried to avoid them as much as I tried to avoid DC fics. I've still got a pretty long to read list so we'll see if I need to update this.

All i want in life is a nice, long, multichapter Danny Phantom fox that's not PP compliant, isn't a crossover, and doesn't have Danny x Sam. Is that too much to ask??

(this is me begging for fic recs, i'm desperate)

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triglycercule · 1 month ago

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oh yeah before i forget cute mttpoly headcanon because i said so: when killer finds out (through SOME way of means. he has his ways) that dust and horror like something then at every chance he can he goes and finds that thing for them :3 because I SAID SO AND IT'S CUTE ‼️‼️ (something something killer has no idea how to properly show affection and appreciation after believing his whole life was meant to cause pain and suffering to those close to him and now that he's trying he does silly goofy stuff like this hehe,,,,,,, dust is DROWNING in piles of fluffy blankets and books. horror cannot keep up with eating the amount of snacks killer keeps stealing for him 😞😞😞)

#this was inspired by when parents do this to their kids after finding out they like one thing and buying that thing over and over #thank you untitled29876011111 for helping me figure this one out ‼️‼️‼️ wasnt quite sure of how i could justify this fluffest 💀💀#listen untitled29876011111 gave a fire reason as to how this wouldnt be incredibly ooc and weird but anyways #i haaaave to add onto it and make it sillier by suggesting that this isnt even a conscious thought #killer just sees something that one of then would like and hes like 'hey dust and horror would like that'#and for SOME reason his body's already walking into the shop looking at the thingy 😒😒😒 he didn't do that on purpose #but hey hes here now........... and then killer steals the thingy and causes a massive commotion #i need to get to writing my mtt fic so that i can actually put all these ideas to use #a lot of my ideas can work in the context of that fic i just havent written it 😒😒😒😒#at first killer just started giving the thingies to hrdt casually but then horror started pointing out the stupid amount of stuff he gave #and then killer was like wait is this not good???? uhhh what can he do.........#and then he started Upping the dramatic factor by getting cards and chocolates and flowers and stuff with the gifts #(horror hated it (he preferred the older way killer gave them gifts) but dust was flattered (and a bit embarrassed))#killer's just glad to have figured out yet another detail about hrdt 😈😈😈😈 time to add it to his always growing list of things about them #AUASGAUXHSJZHAH MTTPOLY SWEET CUTE FLUFFY MTTPOLY ARE SO FUCJING STUPID #i NEED to study and analyze killer so i can come up with more accurate stuff than what i already do heheheehehe #guys this isnt ooc at all trust 😒😒😒 untitled29876011111 approved it himself and CLEARLY his opinion is very very important and peak #anyways back to drawing shitty horrordust (i must shower and brush teeth hehe) perhaps i will actually get a full night's worth of rest :3 #tricule hc #YEAH THIS IS A HC THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN MY HEAD TRUST THIS IS SOOOO THEMMMMMMM #killer sans #dust sans #horror sans #murder time trio #mtt poly #murder time trio poly #utmv #sans au

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pleasantlyinsincere · 2 years ago

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John and Julian (and Cyn) through the '70s

Last edited on 8 October 2023. All edits listed at the end. Text in between [ ] are my thoughts.

Since John and Yoko had moved into Tittenhurst in August '69 Julian often spend weekends with them there.

"And then I'd live for the weekends I spent with my dad and his new love Yoko at Ascot. My feeling toward their relationship was helped by the way I was treated. I was given incredibly expansive toys to play with and there was always something happening." Julian, 1982

Cynthia describes that she was relieved that Julian got on reasonably well with Yoko, but she was concerned by some of the more bizarre stories of what was going on at Tittenhurst park.

"One of the hardest aspects of letting Julian visit John was accepting that Yoko would presumably look after him when he was there. I didn't know what he would make of her cool manner. But in fact he seemed fine with it, and perhaps it was better for him to have a rather distant step-mother than one who was all over him. He never told me that she was unkind in any way, which was a relief. After that first weekend Peter rang regularly to arrange visits for Julian. Much to my amusement Julian had started to call Yoko Hokey-Cokey." Cynthia Lennon: John, p.314

Photos of Julian at Tittenhurst in 31 January 1970. [John and Yoko only returned from Denmark January 27th, so Julian came to see them the first weekend back.]

Rest of the timeline including pics, quotes and audio behind the cut because it got ridiculously long.

23 February 1970

An article is published in the Evening Post talking about Julian and Kyoko. It mentions that in 1969 there were four months that father and son didn't get to see each other and also spent Christmas apart.

Some quotes from John:

"Julian, last time I saw him, was a bit too protected, like all kids are. It took him two weeks to unwind, when he was last with us." "I'm not a daddy with a set of bricks to play with. When I'm with the kids, they just come along with me and be with me, whatever I'm doing." Link to article

March 1970

Over the New Year John and Yoko had spent some weeks in Denmark with Tony Cox, his new partner and Kyoko. That arrangement had worked quite well and it seems it motivated John and Yoko to try to get closer with Cynthia and Roberto also. It seems in the end not much came of these good intentions.

Up until now, when Julian came to spend the weekend at Tittenhurst Park, it was Les Anthony who shuttled him back and forth between his parents. However, shortly after their return from Denmark, John and Yoko made a conscious effort to spend time with Julian, Cynthia and her fiancé Roberto Bassanini. John later remarked: "All five of us ate together and we saw to it that the children see us all together. Maybe six of us will go on vacation with Kyoko. Julian, Cyn and Roberto, so that everyone feels secure. That's very important. In order to have peace, it's necessary to start inside the family." Lennonology, source L'Express [3/23/70]

Instead John and Yoko left for LA 23 April 1970 to undergo Primal Scream therapy with Janov. They stayed for almost five months in the US and returned to England 15 September 1970.

June 7th, 1970

While John and Yoko are in LA doing their therapy with Janov. One of the topics discussed was John's troubled relationship with his son.

The meeting, which Vivian Janov describes as 'a very strong emotional day for him,' had taken place in April, and John was making an effort to maintain communication with his son. From Los Angeles, John posted a card to Julian today: 'I'm sorry I haven't called or written much. I've been a little sick. We miss you a lot, and send you our love... won't be long till I see you'. Lennonology

After the return from the US in September Julian continued to regularly visit Tittenhurst. During those visits he usually played a lot with Les Anthonys four stepchildren, who at the time were also living on the estate.

"Once Dad had a little white shed built on an island in the middle of a lake on the grounds of the house. He had bought these little white amphi-cars that sped across the lake. The three of us all dressed in white to spend the day there. Crazy, but wonderful."Julian, 1982

In this interview Julian describes going over to Tittenhurst just to be an idiot with his dad but also how scary the big house and his bedroom situation could be to him at night.

[The floorplan of Tittenhurst (LINK) actually shows Julian's room just across the hallway from John and Yoko's room but half a stairway down. There's not really a closer bedroom and he may have been put there, so that he has his own bathroom. It being so far away, small (somewhere he or Cynthia call the room a closet) and scary are after all the memories from a child's point of view.]

For the most part the visitation arrangements seemed to have continued in 1971. In the summer, when John and Yoko were filming for the imagine documentary, Julian can be seen roaming the property with his friends.

Saturday, July 17th, 1971 With the cameras rolling, John and Yoko roamed the Tittenhurst Park grounds in a golf cart with Jill Johnston. As promised, Blue Pools delivered the new lake house, and the Lennons spotted location. More footage was taken of the house under construction, the Lennons and Johnston rowing on the lake, and Julian and the neighbor children reading excerpts from Grapefruit on camera and running amok in the fields. Lennonology

Lennonology

Julian Lennon: Tittenhurst was this enormous palace-like place with 99 acres, golf-cart buggies, a lake, a little island in the middle of the lake. It was like a house of fun. It was wonderful. I loved the place.

LINK to a longer version of the quote but in German. Not adding much just both John and Julian sharing a mutual love for Dr. Pepper at the time, playing the mellotron and the children daring each other to enter a 'haunted' building on the property.

It's also at Tittenhurst that Julian meets May Pang, who had started working for John and Yoko as an assistant through ABKCO in NY and had come to England as a messenger to bring film rolls.

"There were a lot of great moments at Tittenhurst that I do fondly remember, you know, giggling and laughing with Dad. And, as they say, shooting the shit. But it was difficult to know, you think, 'OK, well, is this going to stay? Is this what it's going to be, now? Can I count on this? Can I be here next weekend or the weekend after? Is that going to happen?' That was one of the, obviously, the hardest pill to swallow, was the constant change. You know, you thought things were going to settle down, but they just never quite did." Julian, 2018

"I lived an ideal life between then [Cyn and Roberto] and John and Yoko, but it all ended when Cynthia's marriage broke up and Dad and Yoko moved to the States." Julian, 1982

The big cut happens when on August 12th 1971 John and Yoko leave for NY and take up residence in the St. Regis Hotel.

At first their plan was to search for Kyoko, so that she too could come for visits at Tittenhurst like Julian. In September John and Yoko appeared on the Dick Cavett show and briefly talked about their wish that both their children could be with them.

youtube

Maybe a Christmas present:

Christie's auction

[In her Lost Weekend doc, May talks about Julian calling and Yoko not allowing her to put the call through to John. She says at that point they hadn't spoken for a couple of years. Then a few weeks later she is in the audience for George Harrison's appearance on Dick Cavett. The show is aired in November '71, so if there is anything to her anecdote she may mean they hadn't seen each other for two months instead of two years.]

26 May '72

"Lennon admits that he is scared to say too much publicly about the case, because it was the initial publicity that had spurred Cox to vanish. He talks about how hard it is for Ono to see pictures of her daughter: I have to hide them. Asked about his own son, Julian, he says: I don't have that 'where the hell is he?' bit. But he reveals that when they were in England, and Julian visited them every weekend, it was difficult for Ono to be with him when her own daughter wasn't there: It was killing her." source

28 May '72

Cynthia quoted in a Sunday paper: "John hasn't seen Julian since he went to America. It is rather a long time. He seems to be occupied with Yoko's daughter now. He does write to Julian, just normal letters, asking how he is getting on at school and things like that. And he sends him presents. He sent him a toy truck at Christmas. I don't keep in touch with John anymore. It's purely through Julian that we keep in contact. Julian loves his father. He follows his career in the newspapers. He goes to a private boys' school where people don't bother who he is. He went to a state school but he had problems there."

14 June '72

Cyn's complaints are repeated in the LA times, where it said that John hadn't seen Julian in eight months. "He seems to be occupied with Yoko's daughter now."

On 22 September '73 John and May leave for LA and only a few days later on 2 October '73 it is reported in the newspaper that Cyn separated from Roberto Bassanini.

Cynthia gave some interviews on her recent separation and the fact that she and Julian moved back to Hoylake, where Julian goes to private school.

"Unhappily Julian misses his father, which is only natural. We only hear from John at Christmas and when the birthdays come around." 7 October '73, Sunday Mirror

"Julian is always asking after him but of course John is in America now. It's been hard for him not seeing John for several years. This sort of thing is naturally upsetting for a child." 7 October '73, Sunday People

According to May's book, while John had broken up with her, she went to the Dakota to be with Yoko. Yoko there told her that she had decided it was time for Julian to come for a visit and May should at least reunite with John for that period to help him with it. May agreed to go back to John for two weeks, but it ends up being more like a year.

Christmas gift '73

To Julian from Daddy Christmas 1973

[Julian has sold an NFT of the black guitar. LINK ]

Shortly after Christmas '73 Julian and Cyn travel to LA to spend his school holidays with his father. They stay at least until the Happy Days taping they visit together on 5 February '74.

During the over a month long visit May writes, that they went to Disneyland three times and had brunch together the first morning. Meanwhile John is still having some wild times. Since Julian is staying with Cynthia, he goes out with May. The Kotex incident and nearly killing Jesse Ed Davis happen at the same time of this visit. May also places Cynthia asking John to have another child together during this trip.

As the visit ends May makes John promise to call Julian regularly.

"It is the right thing to do. I promise you, Fung Yee." He was silent for a while, then John said suddenly, "I really would like to keep in touch with me son." May Pang, Loving John p.168

Julian too, took a lot of positive out of the meetings around this time.

"Mum and I flew out to the States and stayed at the Beverly Hills Hotel. At least Mum did, I spend every minute of every day with my Dad and Yoko. " Julian, 1982

In later recollections Julian correctly puts the first visit in the time-frame that John was with May.

“Dad and I got on a great deal better than,” recalls Julian. “We had a lot of fun, laughed a lot and had a great time in general when he was with May Pang.” Julian in The Times, June 13 2009

May Pang: Loving John. About this visit and how it was set up.

In April 74 Julian sends a Thank you tape to John and Yoko for his birthday gift. Even though John is with May at this time, the present it seems was sent from the married couple.

The present in question according to Julian was a guitar, decorated with a mirror, writing and other stuff:

John writes to Cyn 22 June '74 a typed letter asking about Julian's holiday plans. Interestingly as the return address he gives the Dakota. He wants to send May to bring Julian.

19/20-25 July 1974 Instead of being collected by May, Julian sails with Elton John, Tony King, and Cyn per boat from Southampton to New York.

[In her book Cynthia wrongly remembers this as her first visit with John in the US. She also claims this visit was completely her initiative, which as proven by the letter wasn't the case. The whole anecdote is interesting however because she says that it was never the plan to stay with Julian, John and May but stay in NY with Jenny Boyd. Jenny apparently wasn't told about that plan, because in the end she wasn't there to home Cynthia. (May on the other hand remembers that Cynthia was staying with friends but they left without her and she was lonely, so she ended up coming with them.) In the end (and to John probably rightly or wrongly suspiciously) what was planned as just a trip for Julian with his dad turned into Cynthia coming along most of the time.]

Cynthia'a account about how this meeting was set-up and why she was with them during the trip.

Tony King in The Tastemaker simply writes: “John Lennon wanted to see his son, so I took Julian and John’s ex-wife Cynthia along with me.”

August 6th '74

John, May, Cyn and Julian return to LA for John to record Goodnight Vienna with Ringo.

In the summer while working on Walls and Bridges Julian visits the studio. He records Ya Ya with his dad.

Little interview bit with Julian about being in the studio.

August 19th, 1974

John and May take a trip to Denver. Instead of coming with them Julian stays with Cyn in LA.

When the whole vacation is coming to a close, it is decided that Julian should come for another visit for Christmas. John is clear that he wants him to come alone.

Both May Pang and Cynthia wrote about this visit in their memoirs. [Cynthia is clearly mixing up and merging the first and second trip together in her recollection of it.]

Cynthia's account.

May's account.

December 19th, 1974

Julian, accompanied by Apple staffer Steve Brendell, arrived in NY on this day for Christmas with John and May. Mimi was also invited but declined to come.

While they were in NY Yoko also came by because she wanted to greet Julian.

John, May and Julian flew to Florida on December 22. Lennon said he accepted Levy's Florida invitation "because I was so worn out anyway" from back-to-back studio projects "that I didn't know what to do with my son Julian." John figured that at Disney World, "I could sort of sit in a room or something and Julian could play with Morris's kid." John's quotes are from his trial testimony Big Seven Music Corp, 75Civ, 1116; In Stan Soocher Baby You're a Rich Man, Suing the Beatles for Fun and Money

Until 29 December they spent time in Palm Beach and later returned to Orlando (Disney World).

During this visit, Julian was helpful in influencing John and George making up and the thus the dissolution agreement of the Beatles coming along.

Julian remembers his Christmas visit with John and May fondly: “My memories of that time with Dad and May are very clear - they were the happiest time I can remember with them.” Julian in The Times, June 13 2009

May Pang in Loving John on this visit.

Cynthia writes about this visit in her book.

youtube

Video from May Pang's Lost Weekend documentary. [She says Long Island but I guess it's Palm Beach.]

In early February 1975 John moves back into the Dakota and resumes his marriage with Yoko.

John gives an interview to SPIN magazine in early spring 1975. In it he is asked about his private life, his recent return to Yoko, what his relationship with May is like now, and also about Julian:

How about you as a father? How old is your son [Julian] now? He is 11 now. All I know is that you took him to Disneyworld … right? Yeah, that was hell. Disneyland was better, the first time, in L.A., I took him there. Because I went with a gang, and there were a few of us who were flying a little. But Disneyworld — I was there on the most crowded day of the year, around Christmas or something. Seeing him is good. What we do is irrelevant. I went through a period of, “What are we gonna do?” and all that crap. It doesn’t really matter. As long as he’s around. Cause I don’t see him that often. How is it for an 11-year-old boy to have John Lennon as a father? It must be hell. Does he talk about that to you? No, because he is a Beatle fan. I mean, what do you expect?? I think he likes Paul better than me … I have the funny feeling he wishes Paul was his dad. But unfortunately he got me … It must be hard to be son of anybody. He is a bright kid and he’s into music. I didn’t encourage him, but he’s already got a band in school. But they sing rock’n’roll songs, ’cause their teacher is my age. So he teaches them “Long Tall Sally” and a couple of Beatles numbers. He likes Barry White and he likes Gilbert O’ Sullivan. He likes Queen, though I haven’t heard them yet. He turns me on to music. I call him and he says, “Have you heard Queen?” and I say “No, what is it?” I’ve heard of them. I’ve seen the guy … the one who looks like Hitler playing a piano … Sparks? I’ve seen Sparks on American TV. So I call him and say, “Have you seen Sparks? Hitler on the piano?” and he says, “No. They are alright. But have you seen Queen?” and I say “What’s Queen?” and then he tells me. His age group is hipper to music … at 11 I was aware of music, but not too much.

Link to the SPIN interview

March 11th 1975

John is interviewed by Bob Harris on The Old Grey Whistle Test. He sends greetings to Julian, Mimi and the rest of his family in England.

unknown

30 July 1975

About Julian ... I'm lucky if I see/hear from him myself. She allowed him over here twice last year ... but insisted on coming herself! You can imagine how thrilling that was ... she thought she could walk back in coz I wasn't with yoko!! Now we're back together again she stops him phoning me ... which he did a lot last year ... once a week. He's a bright little boy ... a bit 'sneaky' like his dad ... but he's gonna need that to survive his mother! Our relationship is pretty good --- he knows where I am and what my life is like ... he thinks of me a litlle too much in terms of 'money' etc ... which is what cyn and her mother (so called) have taught him (by example). He will run right to me when he's older ... we all run somewhere ... so I can wait. I got him well hooked on America ... which isan extraordinary place to say the least ... more on that in other letters perhaps. Oh yes the baby is due in November! Conceived feb 6. I tried to send Julia to see julian ... she was given the cold shoulder. When I get to England I'll show you them both. I would love to see yours. Letter to Leila, John Lennon Letters edited by Hunter Davies

After only five months being back with Yoko, communication with Julian has become more sporadic again. To his cousin Leila John complains that it's Cynthia keeping Julian from calling and about her tagging along the previous year. He also claims that he sent Julia to check in on Julian.

Julia Baird in a '83 interview confirms John's claim to Leila, that he hadn't heard from Julian and sent his little sister to check up on him.

"He kept asking in letters and on the phone, 'Please will you go and see Julian? Will you go and see Julian? Will you go see and see Julian? I haven't heard from Julian. His mother's got a cob on. Can you please go and see what's going on?' [...] Anyway eventually Aaron persuaded me that I should go. He was the one that when we got another letter asking, 'Have you been to see Julian yet?', he said, 'Look, he's never asked you to do anything. I think you should go.' [...] We went and John had given us the address, I didn't know where it was. And she seemed very embarrassed to see me. In fact so much so, that I backed off. I just said, 'Is Julian there, please? I'd like to see him.' And she said, 'No, he's gone out.' And I just said, 'Well goodbye, then.' It was very odd, very bizarre."

In her memoir Cyn doesn't mention John sending family to check on them but has an opposing recollection of who was unreachable:

"Initially he did: he phoned Julian as before, every few weeks. But the calls became less frequent, and all too often when Julian tried to phone John he couldn't get through. Yoko, or one of their employees, would tell him that John was sleeping or busy. Discouraged, Julian would wait weeks before trying again. " Cynthia Lennon, John p. 346

1 May '76

Cyn marries John Twist. John and Yoko send a telegram: "Congratulations, good luck, God bless the three of you, John and Yoko.”

According to Cynthia a few weeks later John calls her to invite Julian over for a visit during the school holidays to meet his brother. Yoko and John take the children for a holiday to Long Island. Cynthia also writes that Julian was mugged during his stay in NY, when John told him to go out by himself to buy a harmonica he wanted.

Photos of Julian with John and Yoko in summer 1976.

The only other person I have read mention the '76 visit is John Green in Dakota Days.

As the apartment at the Dakota grew more crowded, John retreated to the quieter and more spacious southern shore of Long Island. He took Sean with him and brought Julian over from Britain. Yoko kept him posted with a barrage of phone calls. "How goes the war, Charles?" he chimed into the receiver. "No casualties so far. How goes the peace?" "Great. It's absolutely beautiful. I've got a bit of sea and a bit of green and my sons, and even once in a while I even have my wife. You should come out here and get some of this. It's delightful." Dakota Days, p.97

[Aside from Cynthia's and Green's brief mentions of the trip, there is very little information on this NY visit. Even Robert Rosen, who supposedly read John's diaries multiple times, has nothing to say about this or the '77 visits. He even claims repeatedly that Julian and John first reunited in 1979 and hadn't seen each other for four years at that point.]

One of Julian's memories that most likely fits this visit:

Julian first played piano when he was thirteen, visiting his father and Yoko in Montauk, Long Island, after Sean, his half brother, was born. Their next-door neighbor had a piano, and Julian and his father went there one day. Lennon played a couple of tunes, then Julian asked, "Can I have a go?" Julian to Rolling Stone, 1985

Another one that Julian doesn't connect to a date but he remembers the new situation after his little brother was born:

[Yoko] was very loving towards me, even after their son Sean was born. Right at the beginning I felt a few pangs. They were there with their own son. Where did I fit in? But every time I went over Dad would lay on amazing treats, and Yoko was always loving towards me." Julian, 1982

In the same interview Julian also tells the story of his dad offering him a joint when he was about 12, so that might have also been the '76 visit, or the '74/'75 Christmas visit.

Cynthia claims she had trouble getting the money she was supposed to use for Julian's school. She asked John to split the trust fund, so that she can withdraw money from it easier. John agreed.

Cynthia publishes the letter in her book John and calls it "cautious, polite and to the point":

"I explained that, as he and Yoko were out of the country, it was impossibly difficult for me to get at Julian's money: 'Nothing can proceed without your signature - it means I'm forever overdrawn at the bank and have to wait on the convenience of your lawyers ... I want the best for Julian, and his standard of life shouldn't suffer because of lack of good management on your part, which has been happening since the fund was set up ... The money, instead of having doubled through good investment, is dwindling through lack of interest on your part ... It's just so important that this whole arrangement is sorted out without animosity or aggravation ... The way things are going Julian's financial prospects when he is 25 will be virtually nil and he is going to want to know why... It is one thing fighting for your rights but totally ridiculous fighting against your own son's interests, which is what seems to be happening.' "

[She says she ends the letter with thanking them for arranging the Concorde flight for Julian last summer. However according to wiki Concorde didn't fly to NYC until November 1977. (That years Christmas John and Yoko do indeed book a Concorde flight for Julian.) So I suspect that her supposed letter is specifically written for her book and not an actual document as the presentation suggests.]

In mid-October Cynthia gives an interview to Woman magazine that also got picked up in multiple newspapers. In it she talks about their relationship splitting after their first LSD trip, John getting upset with Julian when he couldn't eat with a knife, alleges that she was being followed by a private detective in Italy,...

A report on the article in the Burton Daily Mail from 19 October '76 also quotes Cynthia as saying:

"Since then their relationship has been beautiful," she says. "They talk a lot on the phone, there've been other visits and he's going again this year. I believe now that John is completely off all drugs, has been off them for years, otherwise I'd never let Julian go."

[He's going again this year indicates that there was another visit planned in 1976. If that happened or fell through, I haven't found anything about that.]

October 25th, 76

John sends Julian a postcard from Singapore. “What happened to ya?”

Even though the previous few months there was a visit and positive communication about the finances, Cynthia's decision to publicly complain in the papers angered John. He responded on November 26th 1976 with an open letter in the Daily Mail.

"Lennon tells first wife: Stop blaming Yoko," it read: "As you and I well know, our marriage was over long before the advent of LSD or Yoko Ono. Your memory is impaired to say the least. Your version of our first LSD trips is rather vague. You seem to have forgotten subsequent trips altogether. You also seem to have forgotten that only two years ago, while I was separated from Yoko Ono, you suddenly brought Julian to see me in Los Angeles after three years of silence. During that visit you didn't allow me to be alone with him for one moment. You even asked me to remarry you and give you another child 'for Julian's sake.' I politely told you no and that anyway I was still in love with Yoko. Finally, I don't blame you for wanting to get away from your Beatle past, but if you are serious about it you should try to avoid talking to and posing for magazines and newspapers. We did have some good years so dwell on them for a change."

Cynthia answers to the press after this, saying she doesn't want them to throw mud at each other and repeated "All I want to do is forget the Beatles and enjoy my present life". Still, only a few months later in 1977 she starts to write A Twist of Lennon (allegedly gleefully on a typewriter Yoko had gifted Julian). In her later memoir John she writes she was persuaded to do it by her husband John Twist who believed it would make their fortune.

Julian is sent to boarding school for that time. [In her book John Cynthia explicitly remembers that she moved to Ireland to write. However newspaper reports from the time suggest that the move happened later. So, probably Julian wasn't boarding at this time but those months in '78.]

At the same time communication between John and Julian was happening regularly and according to his diaries he got excited by the idea of buying Julian a keyboard.

July 14th, 1977

December 25th 1977

Julian comes by Concorde to stay at the Dakota during his school holidays.

[At the time of Julian's visit John and Yoko were still helped by the FBI to deal with the kidnapping threat and extortion attempt that had been going on for weeks and scared them badly. Also, Tony Cox had made contact by phone and agreed that Kyoko could visit for these holidays but then disappeared again and John would never hear again from Kyoko. I don't know if Julian was told any of this but I assume it probably was one of the more tense christmases.]

Going by Giuliano because neither Cynthia nor Robert Rosen mention this trip by Julian at all, John was very excited about Julian coming getting up early and baking bread for him. Julian gets close to Nishi and thereby brings forth John's competitive streak. John tries out the parental philosophy of wanting to spend time with Julian instead of giving him material goods, Julian goes 'oh, really' and John caves in. When he leaves John draws a portrait of Julian. Source

[Since Robert Rosen, who also read the diaries, doesn't even know about the '76 or '77 visits (and Giuliano too thinks they saw each other last at Disney World), they may not be the source for the above. I thought it might have been from Dakota Days but it's not. John Green mentions the '77 Christmas visit but says the family were going to Florida to meet Julian there because of the security threats. I think Green is confusing this and a later visit, so I will insert his account of what John told him on returning there.]

Julian stays most of January. Goes to see the musical The Magic Show with Yoko and the band Riff-Raff with John.

In February of 1978 Cynthia and her husband sell their house and move away from Ruthin to Eire to avoid a 'wealth tax'. They leave Julian to be a boarder at his school. Cynthia and John Twist return in December, probably because they missed Julian.

April 1978

[It's not actually dated aside from being from 1978, I just assume the guitar was Julian's birthday gift.]

GIBSON Les Paul 25/50 guitar

"Dad gave me this special order rare model - it was always exciting to receive something like this from my dad. When I visited Dad we would sit down together and he would teach me a few chords and help me improve my technique." Julian in Beatles Memorabilia. The Julian Lennon Collection.

May 19th 1978

A conversation with Cyn and excerpts from her memoir A Twist of Lennon are published in News of the World.

John, Yoko and Sean are in Japan for their summer vacation. Through his London lawyers John tries to stop the publication of Cynthia's book as a serial in the News Of The World.

Tuesday, June 13th, 1978 Having been telephoned in Japan with the details of Cynthia's memoir excerpt in News Of The World, John instructed his solicitors to issue a High Court injunction in an effort to prevent the publication of a planned second installment. Frere Cholmeley & Co., Lennon's attorney in London, described the piece as 'a salacious and gribby little article,' although it was qualified with the statement: 'He does not deny that he held parties or took drugs, but he deplores the publication of intimate details of his married life.' Friday, June 16th, 1978 In the case of Lennon v. News Group Newspapers Ltd and Twist, Lord Denning rejected John's application for an injunction in London's High Court today, permitting the publication of more excerpts from A Twist Of Lennon. For his par, Denning was not impresses with John's argument that the article's publication was a breach of confidence of the marriage: 'I cannot see that either of these two parties have had much regard for the sanctity of marriage ... It seems to me as plain as can be that the relationship of these parties has ceases to be their own private affair. They themselves have put it into the public domain.' Sunday, June 18th, 1978 Having successfully defended the right to publish excerpts from A Twist Of Lennon, today's edition of News Of The World featured part two of their series: 'How Yoko stole my husband.' " Lennonology

When the book actually was released feelings turned out to be much softer than expected. Cyn ends her first memoir with the words :

I still feel very proud of the Beatles and their accomplishments. My life during that period was an education, an education I wouldn't have missed. It has left me feeling enriched, not embittered, enlightened not blinded. All I can think to conclude my story is to say, 'Thanks for the memories, and in the words of the I CHING, no blame.'"

After finishing reading his ex-wife's book, according to Robert Rosen, John was relieved and enjoyed the nostalgia. He said a prayer for Cyn: "Dear God, please show her The Way. Thank You. Thank You."

Postcard to Julian:

[I can't make out the date on the card. Julian's Beatles memorabilia book says it's from '71 but that's obviously wrong with Sean being included and Julian's Ruthin address on it. John makes the reference to being a farmer. They bought their farm in February 1978, so I put it that year. May be wrong though.]

March 21st 1979

Julian is supposed to join John, Sean and Yoko's visiting nieces in Palm Beach.

[John taking a photo of Julian in '79]

There are multiple, very different accounts for this visit, that includes Julian's 16th birthday celebration.

John bought Julian a motorcycle for his birthday.

At one point they went to Disney World, (which none of the accounts of the trip even mention), where this photo of Julian and Yoko's nieces was taken:

Accounts from:

Robert Rosen [Rosen writes that Dan Richter's children came for a visit. Correction: I said before that that because Dan wrote in his book that he never saw John again after 1974, it seemes unlikely to me that his kids would be sent out to John and Yoko five years later. However Dan Richter does confirm that in his interview on the Podcast Glass Onion: On John Lennon episode 16:

"My kids would go down, they had a place down in Palm Beach or whatever it was down in Florida. And they were there at Christmas and bring Julian and they would fly my kids down to play with Julian. And everybody, the sense we got was they were happy!"

This visit doesn't happen over Christmas but it sounds like he is talking about more than one occasion that happened and probably Christmas is one example. Could also mean that Rosen is mixing up the occasion for that anecdote.]

Cynthia Lennon

Fred Seaman

Geoffrey Giuliano

John Green [Green puts this actually to the '77 holiday visit, where he wrongly writes they went to Florida. I think (if his stories are to be believed at all) he confuses John's anger and disappointment upon return with this visit of Julian's. It also fits with being in Florida.]

[I recommend to read all of them. Lots of drama. I may one day make a comparison post between all the account because they are fascinatingly different.]

April 9th 1979

John writes to Mimi saying Julian would be welcome to live with them if he so chose but there had been no arrangements made.

Q: Did you ever plan to go and live with him [John] in New York? Julian: "When I was in my early teens we'd spoken on the phone about the possibility of me going to college over there. I think it was wishful thinking on both our parts because I felt uncomfortable about the situation and I believe he did, too." Hello! Magazine, 1995

April 25th 1979, Postcard to Julian from NY:

Julian declines to join his dad, Yoko and Sean for their family's yearly vacation in Japan.

[July 1979 In the context of getting one of his guitars Julian said that John bought him a Sony Walkman as a gift when they were brand-new. He puts around '73-'74. However according to wikipedia the Sony Walkman was first sold in July '79, so that present would have been sent to Julian around this time, maybe directly from Japan.]

December 1979

On 3rd-4th December there is a two part feature in the Daily Mail called "The Sons of the Beatles" on Julian and Zak.

"When I'm in New York, we go out quite a lot together round some of the art galleries, or to his house at Long Island. When we stay in we have musical jam sessions together singing out latest songs to each other. I still listen to Beatles music. Although I quite like some of my father's solo albums, I much prefer what he did with the Beatles." (quoted from Lennonology p. 508)

Also that month:

"More disturbing to John were the ongoing trials with Julian. The sullen teen continued to vex his father with his on-again, off-again plans to visit over Christmas. At first Julian said maybe, as long as they didn't go to Florida. Then it was a flat no, using school exams and a new girlfriend as an excuse. At the last minute he called saying he would come to New York only if he could bring a friend, but Yoko turned him down. As usual John didn't challenge her. Julian retaliated by sending his father a tabloid article about rock stars' sons, which focused on both him and Ringo's son Zak Starkey, and went into detail about the trials of being the offspring of a Beatle." Lennon in America by Giuliano p. 218

On the other hand John Green does write that Julian spent Christmas '79 with John, Yoko and Sean. He even says that Julian stayed until February. ("John stayed in the Palm Beach house until February, luxuriating in the sun and sea, forging new ties with Julian and delighting in rediscoveries of himself." p.229) [This can't be true however because John was definitely in NY for Christmas and New Years. John and Yoko did buy a house in Palm Beach late January however and were spotted there a few times in February. I can't find a mention of Julian being spotted with them, so it may or may not have happened. I do think between the two of them Giuliano's account is probably more accurate. The Daily Mail article he mentions of Zak and Julian had come out on 3 or 4 December, so that is also believable that it had come up in pre-christmas discussions. But of course it's possible that a visit happened anyway.]

1980

Julian called in February 1980 to set up another meeting with his dad. This time John denied him, surprisingly because he was worried about Julian's schooling. Through Cynthia he had learned that Julian was failing his O-levels, had started smoking, staying out at night drinking, had gotten in trouble with the police for setting up fires and racing through town on a dirt bike. "John just prayed that Julian didn't hurt himself." There is also continued conflict over money. John felt that Julian every time they spoke asked him for more money. "And though John continued to feel guilty about having abandoned Julian and Cynthia, he'd be damned if he was going to be like every other rich asshole father who'd abandoned his family and then used money as a poor substitute for love and companionship." source

In March 'A Twist of Lennon' gets its paperback release and new reviews are printed in the press.

Summer 1980

When John sat for a portrait painting with Sean for the artist Nancy Gosnell, he wondered if she could also do one of him and Julian from a photograph. He wanted to give him a father and son portrait for his birthday, according to Fred Seaman.

September 1980

PLAYBOY: "Your son, Julian, from your first marriage must be in his teens. Have you seen him over the years?" LENNON: "Well, Cyn got possession, or whatever you call it. I got rights to see him on his holidays and all that business, and at least there's an open line still going. It's not the best relationship between father and son, but it is there. He's 17 now. Julian and I will have a relationship in the future. Over the years, he's been able to see through the Beatle image and to see through the image that his mother will have given him, subconsciously or consciously. He's interested in girls and autobikes now. I'm just sort of a figure in the sky, but he's obliged to communicate with me, even when he probably doesn't want to." PLAYBOY: "You're being very honest about your feelings toward him to the point of saying that Sean is your first child. Are you concerned about hurting him?" LENNON: "I'm not going to lie to Julian. Ninety percent of the people on this planet, especially in the West, were born out of a bottle of whiskey on a Saturday night, and there was no intent to have children. So 90 percent of us... that includes everybody... were accidents. I don't know anybody who was a planned child. All of us were Saturday-night specials. Julian is in the majority, along with me and everybody else. Sean is a planned child, and therein lies the difference. I don't love Julian any less as a child. He's still my son, whether he came from a bottle of whiskey or because they didn't have pills in those days. He's here, he belongs to me and he always will."

Playboy: I was under the impression that you still weren't seeing Julian much. Lennon: Well, no, he's comin' here over shortly now. I see him whenever he get's off school. Playboy: Has it been hard for him to be John Lennon's kid? Lennon: Yeah, he has his own... Everybody has a cross to bear, and Julian has that cross, and he'll deal with it. He's a clever boy, and as he gets older we can communicate and he'll understand.

[I wasn't sure what upcoming visit John is referring to since I couldn't find one mentioned anywhere. However there is an article in the Daily Mirror from 8 October 1980 including interview passages with Cynthia that mentions Julian currently being in New York. So without any photographic evidence, he isn't in any of the birthday photos, or anecdotes about it, there still might be the possibility that there was a (pre-)birthday visit from Julian to John and Sean in 1980. Julian himself hasn't been completely consistent on when he last saw his Dad. He has said that his '79 birthday visit was their last meeting (which I think is most likely correct), but he also claimed that he was flying out regularly.]

"According to Cynthia, Julian, now 18, plays guitar better than his father. He has left school and is off to New York to stay with his famous dad." Link to the article

In an interview with Jonathan Cott on 5 December John reflects more on the troubles of being a Beatle's son and on how mistakes in his decision for Julian's schooling changed his outlook on his plans for Sean. [Julian had been going to private school since at least 1973.]

"[...] because he can't possibly be an average child, being the son of famous parents. I tried that game with my son Julian, sending him to a comprehensive working-class school, mixing with the people, but the people spat and shit on him, because he was famous, as people are wont to do. So his mother had to finally turn around and tell me to piss off: 'I'm sending him to a private school, the kid is suffering here.' "

Cynthia writes that by the end of 1980 Julian felt a breakthrough in his and his father's relationship. John played Julian songs from his new album over the phone, asking his opinions. source

Julian himself reflects on his and his dad's relationship by the time of his death like this:

"I know that dad's presence will be around for a long time. He was always joking, always sounded happy, which made me think more of him as a friend than a dad. My earliest memory of my father was when I was about three and he sang happy birthday to me. We were living at Weybridge, Surrey, and dad threw a birthday party for me and brought in a long cake shaped like a train and festooned with candles." Sunday Mirror, 5 April 1981

As early as 1982 negative feelings would influence Julian's memory, saying he didn't get to see his father for five years, that he only heard on Birthdays and Christmas from him or that after the first US visit it was again years before he got to go another time, when it was merely months.

"The Beatles sang 'All You Need Is Love' - and that is all I wanted from Dad. It is difficult to explain why I should feel so strongly, when we shared so little. Never once in all the years he lived in America did he even think about coming to see me. Apart from rare visits, I lived from birthdays to Christmas just to hear from him." Julian, 1982

[Those false memories/presentations may have been the result of his beginning break from Yoko around that time and the conflicts about money, or maybe his memories just adapted to the way it was talked about in his family.]

"It was more of one man to another than the usual father and son relationship, because he had been away from me a lot, and he said he realized that. I was just getting through to him and growing up myself and growing out of the silly giggling I did as a young teenager that really annoyed him, when Dad was killed." Julian quoted in Ray Coleman's John bio, pp.620

"Dad was such an influence in my life, it must have been hard on Mum. She'd do her best with presents at birthdays and Christmas, but I always waited for that special present that was bigger than anything else - from him. Yet he never sent anything spontaneously. He'd phone up and ask what I wanted, and it would arrive. I don't think he was trying to buy me in any way. It was just a chance for him to do something for me. He knew I wanted to be a musician and kept telling me to take a long time to get it right. He removed a lot of the stress I suppose other kids might feel. I didn't do very well at school. I don't think I'm dense, but I suppose I'm a bit lazy. There's only one thing I want - to know for sure that Dad loved me as much as I loved him. Or maybe to have him back." Julian, 1982

Edits: 29 April - December 1974 John trial quote added; September 1980 Playboy interview quote added 6 May - added Julian quote about relationship to his father by the time of his death 7 May - added Old Grey Whistle Test clip March 11th 1975 18 May - added info about 3-4 December '79 Daily Mail feature on Julian and Zak, added all the info I could find on any visits in John Green's Dakota Days and multiple notes on to those mentions. 20 May - added Cyn's quote for 28 May 1972. 23 June - added the Tittenhurst floorplan and the link to an extended quote from Julian about being there in German 8 July - added quote from 5 Dec 1980 to Jonathan Cott 20 July - added Julia Baird audio on trying to see Julian for John 1975 22 July - added info on a possible 1980 visit, 1973 interviews, 1976 info, 1980's quote 30 July - Spin interview '75 added, Cynthia quote from Burton Daily Mail '76 added 1 August - added bits from Julian's 1982 article throughout, transcribed some of the jpg quotes, so that I may add more photos, some photos added 4 August - correction in my comments about the likelihood of Dan Richter's children being with them in 1979 19 August - Box of Smile 8 October - Added some postcards, the guitars, reset some photographs because of the picture limit 12 November - Added the video clip from May Pang's doc

#i was suddenly getting nervous that this will just disappear from my drafts. that would annoy me so much. so it get's posted NOW.#i will add stuff to it as i find it but that's how i always do timelines. fill them up over time. and this is already massive.#i just wanted to date one damn thing and this is what happened...#thoughts in progress #john lennon #julian lennon #Youtube

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